I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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