State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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