So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
