I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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