I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
