rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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