Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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