Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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