Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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