The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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