so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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