I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
