and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please, let me fuck your mom
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
