so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
