i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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