i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
