my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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