He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
