Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
