That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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