SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
