You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
