I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
