my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Drunk is not a location!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
