We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
