you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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