I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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