apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
