He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
