you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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