I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
