Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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