Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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