I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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