Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize