To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize