so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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