That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
