there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Mom said you looked used
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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