i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
we should paint friendship bongs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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