haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
