New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
