why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
