ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
