she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
