is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
