I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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