WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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