The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize