how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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