If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
