id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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