I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
