we have officially lost it.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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